Lonely - The Irony

"Are you lonely?" It's a question I hear a lot from Koreans.

You see, Koreans aren't used to living alone. Most of them live with their parents until they're married, and then they live with their spouses.

So when they found out I live alone, they all ask the same thing, "Are you lonely?" But I always say the same thing, "No, not at all!" And it's the way I feel. Even before I got Riley, I didn't really think of myself as being lonely. I have always had someone that I can hang out with or call up if I needed. But also, I value my alone time. I grew up in a different house than my sisters, so I've always known how to handle myself when I'm not surrounded by others. It doesn't bother me...and actually, I quite like having 'me' time!

I've heard before that it's possible to feel completely alone even when you're surrounded by a crowd of people. I never knew that feeling until I came to Korea. And today it happened again, hence the reason for this blog entry.

Today I traveled to a small town outside of Tongyeong to watch our teachers compete against other local schools in a volleyball competition. I didn't have anyone to go with, so I took the bus alone (no problem) and when I arrived, I sat by some teachers that I'm pretty friendly with. Well, when it was time for them to go warm up for their volleyball match, the space around me freed up. Some other teachers (older women) came to sit down, but I could understand them saying in Korea how they didn't want to sit by me because they couldn't speak English.

In that moment, the 30 or so minutes that I was sitting there, I couldn't help but feel so lonely, even though I was in a gym full of people.

To me, it struck me as so ironic that Koreans are always so concerned about me being lonely and not having anyone with me, but in that moment, I was completely isolated from the group of teachers. The teachers that 'shut me out' are not ones that I'm close with, nor are they teachers that I've had any interaction with...so I'm not taking it personally. I know that if it were any foreigner sitting there, they would have done the same thing.

It's just ironic to me...that's all.